How to Fall in Love with Anyone Summary
I have a confession to make. The title “How to Fall in Love with Anyone” by Mandy Len Catron had me intrigued, thinking it was a self-help guide to magically make anyone fall for me. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Instead, it’s a beautifully written memoir.
A Collection of Essays on Love
This book is a heartfelt collection of essays recounting love stories from Catron’s grandmother, her mother, and herself. Catron’s honesty is refreshing, as she candidly exposes her personal life and delves into the psychology, biology, history, and literature of love.
Catron’s essay “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This” was published in the New York Times Modern Love column in 2015. I hadn’t read it before picking up this book, but now I’m tempted to test the 36 questions on my next date!
The 36 Questions Experiment
The 36 questions, developed by psychologist Arthur Aron 20 years ago, are designed to foster intimacy. Catron and an acquaintance tried these questions. They didn’t fall in love immediately, but the experience brought them closer emotionally and eventually, they did fall in love and are still together.
Rethinking Modern Love
Catron writes, “That experience helped us to think about love not as luck or fate, but as the practice of really bothering to know someone, and allowing that person to know you. Being intentional about love seems to suit us well.”
I used to believe love was all about luck or fate. After reading Catron’s book, I realized I might be approaching love the wrong way. Love isn’t just about luck; it’s about two people working together, being open, and intentional. It’s like nurturing a plant—you have to water and care for it to see it bloom.
However, in today’s busy world, especially in a place like New York City, it seems almost impossible to find the time and willingness to invest in someone else. Is it just me, or does modern love feel more complicated than it should be?
Fairy Tales vs. Reality
I’ve always loved fairy tales and have been on the lookout for my true love and soulmate, but does such a thing really exist? Maybe the perfect love I’ve been searching for is just a myth.
Catron’s experiences resonated with me. My first long-term relationship mirrored hers with Kevin. I lost myself, making my partner the center of my universe. When we broke up, I was lost, having no friends or hobbies of my own.
These bad experiences made me overly protective of myself, always on guard. It’s a vicious circle I can’t seem to break.
Finding Perspective
Though this book wasn’t the self-help guide I expected, it offered me a new perspective on love and relationships. Catron’s references and research provide a wealth of knowledge for anyone looking to understand love better.
If you enjoyed Catron’s essays, check out her New York Times article as well.
Your Thoughts on Modern Love
What are your thoughts on modern love? How did you find Catron’s book? Let’s discuss in the comments below!
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